Tips for a relaxing holiday

• Prioritise what you want from a holiday. Write a list of what you need, want and aren’t fussed about. Is a pool top of your list? Do you need to be by the sea? Would an adult only resort be necessary?
• Do your research. Find out about the area as much as you can before you book. Cross reference using your wish list to find the best match.
• Compromise. Unless you have a very large budget you will struggle to find a 5 star hotel with a pool, within walking distance to a sandy beaches, affordable Michelin standard restaurants, cultural sights, that is not full of tourists yet has a decent night life. Accept this and move on. You can still have a fantastic holiday without all your boxes being ticked.
• Once you have booked, stop looking. Do not dwell on whether you have made the right choice- you have. Unless you can change your booking for free don’t imagine an alternate holiday.
• Leave work behind. As hard as it may be, close the door on work thoughts as soon as the plane takes off. I find it helpful to do a 30 minute meditation during the flight to signal to my mind that it’s holiday time.
• Don’t waste your time off worrying about going back home. It’s usual to feel dread as your holiday looms to an end, but try not to let this ruin your last few days. Whether you have 3 weeks left or 3 hours left you are still in the present. It’s up to you to decide if the present is joyful or full of worry about the future.

5 easy ways to feel liberated

1. Go have an adventure on your own. Get lost. Find your own way back. Realise it doesn’t matter and there’s no one to moan about it.
2. Eat at a restaurant on your own. Bonus points if you don’t take a book.
3. Run in public. All you need is your body and you’re set to go!
4. Sleep naked. The first step to being body confident is to be confident in front of yourself. Be unashamed and proud of your naked self.
5. Get an adrenalin kick. Do something that scares you, whether this is skydiving, going on a roller coaster or just climbing a tree. Push your limits and scream.

How to use mantras

Mantras can be a powerful tool to change your world. Here are my top tips:

1. Make it in the present tense. You are not waiting to feel calm in the future, “I am calm” will direct you to be so.
2. Keep it short. You want to be able to repeat it quickly in your head and memorise it easily. “Today is a good day” is a simple mantra you can repeat with ease on your way to work.
3. Believe it. If you’re saying “today is a good day” but really thinking “today is complete shit” you’re not going to get much of an effect. Try to mirror the words you are saying with the vibe you’re sending out. A simple way to do this is to quickly go through what your grateful for before beginning your affirmation.

Receiving from the universe

Knowing what you want is half the battle. But sometimes we’re the barrier to our dreams coming true.

You may have a solid plan of owing your own business and you may be working night and day on it. But are you sabotaging success by closing yourself up to help from the universe? Are you ignoring that person that keeps popping up and who unknown to you has a book worth of contacts? Or did you turn down that unexpected invite to an event that’s outside your comfort zone, which would have led to a new skill being developed that would enhance your business? 

Being mindful can help you tune in to messages from the universe. Pay attention to new people who come into your life or seemingly coincidences. Having a positive outlook will also make it more comfortable to say yes to opportunities.

3 things I learnt in Mumbai

1. To be grateful. India is a humbling experience, which opens your eyes to real poverty. You get perspective and realise your first world problems  aren’t as big as you thought.
2. To go with the flow. Mumbai can be a pretty overwhelming city, with crazy traffic and people crammed into every space. If you try and resist you will work yourself up into a state. Just accept and try to appreciate the constant beeping.
3. Possessions don’t create happiness. Watching the joy of children kicking around a stone or two teenagers flirting in front of a slum, strips humanity to its core. Happiness can be found anywhere.

Beat boredom with mindfulness

It is a long standing stereotype that British people love to que. While we do indeed spend a lot more time forming an orderly fashioned que, we are just as grumpy as the rest of the world when we do.

This is one of the big problems with modern living. We are constantly in a state of waiting for something to happen. We wait on the train or plane to get us somewhere, we wait for the clock to get to 5 so we life can begin. Life for many of us has become wishing away time to get to the next moment of pleasure.

You will always suffer from boredom and frustration until you end this cycle. Every moment is an opportunity to experience joy. Waiting for the bus in the rain doesn’t have to be an ordeal, it can be a few moments of being present where you give thanks for rain.

A busy tube journey can make any stranger that brushes past you the enemy. But instead try focusing on the motion of your body moving from side to side. Take in all the different faces and the sounds of the underground.

Happy international day of happiness!

Today is international day of happiness, a  rather recent holiday that was founded by the UN in 2012.

To celebrate such an occasion here are my top tips for a happier life:

1. Meditate. There is now scientific evidence that regularly meditating can actually restructure your brain to help you better able to regulate emotions. Aim to do atleast 20 minutes a day, and I guarantee you will notice an improvement in your wellbeing after 6 months.
2. Yoga. Like meditating, yoga requires you to focus on your breath which allows you to be more present.
3. Start a gratitude diary. It is easy to wallow in what you don’t have or when things go wrong. A great way to shift your mind into a more positive state is to count your blessings. I like to write down what I’m grateful for at the end of the day, so I go to sleep in peace.
4. Random acts of kindness. I know that I appreciate a small gesture or smile from a stranger, so make sure you give back. Not only will it bring good karma but a fleeting connection to a stranger reminds you of the goodness in mankind.
5. Baths. A relaxing bath carefully prepared with candles and bubbles is my secret weapon against stress. I make sure to have one every week on a Sunday evening, to help lift my pre work dread. If you don’t have a bath, then any kind of pampering such as a face mask will relax the body.
6. Nature. Acknowledge and appreciate the wonder that is the Earth. Breathing in a cool breeze, basking in the sun or running your fingers through grass is a great way to ground yourself.
7. Exercise. This is the one I struggle most with, as having a bath or sleeping is a lot less effort. However, every time I do a class that gets my heart rate up I feel ecstatic. There is not an easy way to make yourself exercise- just do it. Get up and make it part of your daily routine.
8. Hug a pet. Pet therapy is very real and studies show that you hanging out with a dog or cat release happy chemicals! Being with a dog for just 5 minutes can lower your stress hormone! So grab a (friendly) furry feline and relax into happiness.

Learn from your mistakes

It can be painful when you have to acknowledge that you’ve made a mistake.
You can feel consumed with guilt and desperately wish to turn back time.

It is not productive to replay mistake videos in your head and only causes yourself suffering.

First thing you need to do is acknowledge your mistake. Then forgive yourself. You are human and mistakes are a natural and inevitable part of life.

Next, be grateful for the mistake. See it as an opportunity to learn and be thankful for the chance to grow.

Happiness money can buy

All I wanted for Christmas last year was to be stress free. 

Apparently that wasn’t a helpful answer  to my family and friends..

While you can’t buy inner peace, which requires continual work and self discipline. These purchases can help you on your journey.

• Mood lights. I use these for baths and by my bed. The lights can also change in order of your chakras.
• Bath bombs. I recommend Lush’s bath oil based ones, they really give you more of a spa experience.
• A kindle. The easiest way to digest those self help books.
• A diffuser. It makes the living room more homely and you can accentuate the different seasons inside.
• Red wine and chocolate. It goes without saying that you need to ration these wonderful joys! But every so often, a glass of wine with chocolate is the perfect pairing to destress.

Shaking off difficult feelings

This is one of my favourite tips for dealing with uncomfortable feelings.

Whenever you feel misunderstood or unjustly crticised, just imagine that those words or thoughts are completely true.

I promise if you commit to this image that yucky, angry feeling will melt away.

No matter how obnoxious you may view the person who made the comment, just imagine that they are a 100% right. The words wil immediately lose their power over you.

Last week at work, another professional argued that I should have dealt with a problem differently. The comment made me feel like she was judging me as being incompetent. I felt defensive and a need to prove that she was wrong and I was right. Long after the interaction my mind was still brewing with scenario’s where I could have made her look like an idiot and me as perfect.

However, if I imagine that everything she said and suggested is right I stop replaying the scene over and over. The worst possible outcome happens to my ego, and yet I realise nothing terrible really happens. I can then allow my mind to move on.

I promise- inner peace is a much better option than winning an argument in your head.